When Life Screws You Over
by Quicquidlibet
Summary: Draco's parents are in Azkaban and wizard child services need to find him a guardian. All of his relatives are either dead or in Azkaban. While searching for more possible guardians, they stumble across adoption papers. Draco's adoption papers. Book 4 AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't know where this came from. I just dreamt it, woke up, remembered my dream, laughed hysterically, and stored it for later use. Here is later use:**

**I don't own.**

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><p><strong>When Life Screws You Over <strong>

**POV: 3rd omniscient. **

Harry Potter never liked summer. Which was odd for a thirteen-going-on-fourteen-year-old boy. He also liked going to school. But in his defense, he lived with some very horrible people.

The Dursleys were Harry's Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon, and their son, Dudley. Since Harry's parents were dead, he lived with them. The Dursleys hated anything out of the ordinary, especially Harry. Because, you see, Harry was _extremely_ out of the ordinary. The reason he liked his school was because he went to a school for wizards. Because he was one.

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><p>Harry dreaded the summer before his fourth year more than usual because the summer before he had inflated his Aunt Marge, who wasn't really his aunt but he had to call her that anyway. Luckily, she had no memory of the incident but the Dursleys still did. And to make matters worse, she was visiting again this summer. The only bright side was that Harry's friend, Ron Weasley, had told him that his dad, Arthur, was trying to get tickets to the Quidditch World Cup, the wizarding sport, and Harry was invited if they got enough tickets. The Dursleys would allow him to go as long as he was on his best behavior for Aunt Marge.<p>

All in all, Harry was having an okay summer for once, until he got a letter from the headmaster of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, Albus Dumbledore. He was to visit the Ministry of Magic immediately, for important matters not written in the letter. Remus Lupin, a former professor and an old friend of Harry's parents, James and Lily, was to pick Harry up.

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><p>Remus' visit did not go over well with the Dursleys.<p>

At the Ministry of Magic, the government of the wizarding world, Harry met up with Dumbledore, 'Snuffles' the dog, and oddly enough, Draco Malfoy, a boy from his school who he absolutely hated. 'Snuffles' was actually Sirius Black, Harry's godfather and a wanted criminal who was framed for murder. Sirius was an animagus, a wizard who could transform into an animal.

"What's Potter doing here?" Draco sneered rudely when he saw the other boy. Harry rolled his eyes.

"I received a letter telling me to come here," he told the other boy, as if it were obvious.

"Professor, you said this was about my custody, why is he here?" Draco asked rudely, turning to face Dumbledore. The old professor just smiled.

"You'll see in a moment," he told them mysteriously.

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><p><em>"WHAT?"<em> the two boys exclaimed in angry disbelief.

"The Dursleys are being notified already," Cornelius Fudge stated. Harry visibly paled and his eyes went wide as saucers.

"No. No! Isn't there somewhere else he can go? It's bad enough living with them, I don't need to put up with Malfoy on top of that!" he pleaded. Draco snorted.

"They're just some dumb Muggles, how bad can they be?" he sneered, slumping in his chair in a bored fashion. Harry looked at him with raised eyebrows before shaking his head and sighing in defeat, slumping in his chair as well.

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><p>"You know very well that we want nothing to do with you... Freaks!" Vernon Dursley yelled when Albus Dumbledore came to take him and his family to the Ministry of Magic.<p>

"This involves your son. Your other son, the one you put up for adoption," Dumbledore told him patiently. Vernon blanched and allowed the old wizard to Apparate then to the Ministry.

"You see," the Minister started to explain. "Your son was adopted by two wizards who were recently put in Azkaban, the wizard prison. All of his legal relatives are either dead or in Azkaban with his adoptive parents. Seeing as you are his biological parents, he is now your responsibility until he turns seventeen." The Minister left before Vernon could protest, leaving him a spluttering mess.

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><p><strong>Seriously. I have no idea where I got this.<strong>

**Also, I picture Petunia as a natural bleach-blonde. In my head, she looks suspiciously like Malfoy, which is probably why I thought this up.**

**~Jessica**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the delay.**

**By the way, this goes along with another fic of mine, called Summer Of Words.**

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><p><strong>When Life Screws You Over <strong>

**POV: 3rd Omniscient **

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><p>"I hate this house," Draco moaned as he flopped on his bed. The Dursleys had managed to fit two beds and a dresser into the smallest bedroom, so Harry and Draco had to share the room.<p>

"Imagine living here your whole life," Harry replied with a snort.

"For once, I'm actually sorry for you."

"I used to live in the cupboard. They didn't give me this room until I turned eleven."

"So this is actually a perk for you?"

"Yup."

"You had a crappy childhood."

"You just figured that out?"

"Shut up. I'm still transitioning."

"Just wait till you meet Aunt Marge."

"Oh Merlin. How bad is she?"

"I blew her up last year and have no regrets."

"I'm going to die here, aren't I?"

"I'd call you dramatic, but yeah. You probably are."

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><p>A week later the two boys stumbled into the kitchen, grabbed their meager breakfasts, and sat down.<p>

"Your Aunt Marge is coming today. She's been told that you're a friend of Harry's from school. You had better not tell her otherwise," Vernon warned Draco with a glare.

"What's the name of the school you told her again?" Harry asked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys!" Vernon snapped irritably.

"Sounds lovely," Draco muttered, shoveling his food in his mouth.

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><p>Aunt Marge was horrible.<p>

She hated Harry, and she despised Draco.

Probably because Dudley had found it a good idea to dye his supposed twin brother's hair blue. Bright blue.

Not exactly a great first impression, now is it?

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><p>Harry was going to the Burrow, so Draco was going to stay at the Leaky Cauldron to avoid being with the Dursleys on his own.<p>

The two parted ways quickly, eager to get away from number 4 Privet Drive.

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><p><strong>My dad was irritating me while I wrote this. That's why it's so short.<strong>

**~Jessica**


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